A Week With No Hunt
by Mardy Lass
Summary: Dean's bored, Sam's looking for work. Just a very, very short bit of fun. Rated K plus!


**Author's Note:**

_Believe it or not, this came about because I happened to be writing another fic, and I had Dean calling his brother 'Sam-I-Am'. A weird afternoon of daydreaming ensued, and this was the result. Don't phone in - it's just a bit of fun!_

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**A week with no Hunt,**

**A week with no Hunt,**

**I do not like a week with no Hunt.**

**No zombie to stake?**

**No demon to punt?**

**C'mon, Sam-I-Am,**

**Find us somethin' to hunt!**

_Ok Dean, just hold your horses!_

_I'll check for signs of demonic forces._

_My laptop is fast, it never crashes_

_Even though it runs Vista, which everyone trashes._

**Do I look like I give a crap about the operating system?**

**Just find us some creatures so we can waste 'em!**

_I will, I will, if you'll just wait,_

_But it's Saturday night and it's getting late._

_Could you, would you, leave me be?_

_Could you, would you, let me see?_

_Go to a bar! Go to a bar!_

_Go to a bar, but don't take the car._

_Go chase some skirt and sink some pints,_

_If I find anything good I'll call you, alright?_

**I will not, will not let you be.**

**I will not, will not let you see.**

**I will not, will not go to the bar -**

**I'm outta pool money and the walk's too far.**

**Get on the 'net, find a way,**

**Find us a job, Sam, a job, I say!**

_Ok here's one, you might need your coat:_

_A witch in Washington, does that float your boat?_

**A witch? A witch?**

**Listen up if you can:**

**I do not like hunting them, Sam-I-Am.**

_Well in the same town, is this more to your liking?_

_A vampire's loose, doing all kindsa striking._

_So how about a vampire, an undead bloodsucker?_

**A vampire? Super! I'll kill the fuc--**

_Dean! No swearing, this rhyme is rated K+!_

**Ok, Samantha, don't make such a fuss.**

**I'll watch my language, I will, I will.**

**So what are we doin'? What do we kill?**

_It's a vampire, a vampire, a vampire I say._

_Disappears without a trace during the day._

_The news says there's one survivor - a waitress._

_We need to leave now, there's no call for lateness._

**You got that right, can't leave the poor girl hanging--**

_Don't you dare try and make up a rhyme about 'banging'!_

**Sam, you misjudge me, I was tryin' to be like you,**

**All considerate and helpful - and soppy too.**

**You know it's what you want, you do, you do!**

**You always want me to be more like you.**

**Well I'm trying you know, but it's not easy**

**All this touchy-feely crap makes me feel queasy.**

_That's not fair Dean, I'm just friendly. Oh_

_And if you could manage it, no innuendo._

_Cos really dude, I can already guess_

_How you'll react when I tell you that Tess_

_Is the waitress who's just 28--_

**Am I allowed to say we're already late?**

_Say what you want, remember it's a vamp._

**Dude, I know. Now which off-ramp**

**Do we use to get to this place, where is it again?**

_I told you, Washington - get with the game._

_If we leave now and don't stop for gas_

_We can be there tonight--_

**And slice 'n dice its ass.**

_My thoughts exactly! You ready to go?_

**Looks like I'm outta reasons for 'no'.**

_Then get your coat, don't be so lazy._

**Sam, what are you, buckets 'o crazy?**

**Can't wait to get started, to find this bloodsucker.**

_Dean, stop it! You can't make me say 'fuc--'_

**Gotcha! Ha-ha! So close, hot-damn!**

**You nearly _swore_, Sam-I-Am!**

_Dude. Seriously. What are you, five?_

_Just gimme the keys, or are you gonna drive?_

**I'm driving Sam, you know that's a given.**

**Only when I was dead have you ever driven.**

_Oooh, that's a clever sentence, hurt your head much?_

**Don't be an ass, I can still reach out and touch**

**Your laptop from here. Want it in pieces on the floor?**

_Just pack your crap and get out the door._

_We have a long drive, and at night too--_

**Oh and don't tell me: "we got work to do".**

**Some things never change, and that's just rude.**

_Let's just get going, we're losing light, dude._

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**FIN**

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I'm stuck with Writer's Block right now, and I don't even know if I will ever finish the story I'm on, or if I have any more stories coming. I'm off to the LA convention (27th-29th March '09) in three days, so hopefully after my ten-day holiday on a different continent I'll feel differently. But right at the moment… I got nuthin'.

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